I'm Tired,,

A friend once told if you keep giving yourself to other people and allowing them to take small pieces of you , you'll have nothing left . i disregarded that advice , i thought that friends deserve the effort and its okay to sometimes put your wants and needs in second place ,, after all thats what friendship is ,, its good to treat people the way you want them to treat you but its totally wrong to expect them to do so .

Don't get me wrong , i do not hate my friends at all ,in fact after the little fix i was in i love few of them even more ( yes you my gazawy friend) ,true friends value your space , your time , and know when you are tired just by looking at you ,, i have a few true friends , but i realised i have few friends with high morals , friends who understand !!

As for you "others" , fuck you , really fuck you , i'll no longer allow you to ride on my back and just have your way ,, its not worth it , why should i try so hard to entertain you , help you with your problems , do anything if your not appreciating it , and now you think its is my DUTY to do that !! you don't have to say thank you ,, but you should feel that i must do it ! i have a busier life than yours , i have lots of shit to do everyday i can hardly keep up , i hardly have time for myself ,, why should i give an ungreatful son of a bitch like you !! yil3an 5ara !!Humans are just too self centered ,, maybe i'm a fool because i expected to act otherwise sometimes

# 1 best selling useless invention

A tie is totally useless and pointless , no matter how you look at it , whe i was young i thought it was smart , because its like having a tissue tied to your neck , this way you can whip up your mouth after eating then throw it away or something ,but that wasn't it , and its really annoying as hell , it chokes on your throat . And if you ask why , its simple , because we are civilized , a suit without a tie doesn't show a serious man . I guess its true , if we have declare wars on countries , and kill lots of human , we should atleast do it with a style .

Open minded

I've had a lot of discussions with people who believed they were open minded , ofcourse they weren't by my book . Being tolerant to talking about a certain subject without getting angry, or being able to talk with a person who is not smart enough for them, but that's not it , i think I've finally reached a definition of it , being open minded means that whenever you start a conversation (with whoever) you are 100% ready to change your thoughts and opinions about the subject at the end , never start with the" i am right and you are wrong" tone , speak to be heard not to show superiority on the other part , and listen to learn , there is at least one good thing in everyone , if you listened you might use it .

Heaven...?

When describing heaven people tend to think about rivers on honey and wine , endless trees and gold , lots of gold , i always think if i had all these things for eternity i'll be bored and i always wondered what would i want for eternity ,, until that day i figured that out , my heaven is a tree that i can sit under with her , i'd love to talk with her for eternity , listen to her breathing ,, watching her while she is yawning ,,while she is looking at me and her laugh ,,so pure and sweet that it almost tore my unpure heart ,,, i had that heaven on earth ,, and thats why i'm worried that the heaven up there might not match up !

Talent

One of the words that really gets on my nerves is talent ! Talent is a lie created by lazy indivdiuals so they can excuse themselves for not trying ! Anyone has a fair chance just like anyone else at being anything they want , if you want to become to be a good guitar player al you need is practing , the other X factor is your IQ in this certain thing , if your IQ is low at this certain thing you can work on it ! so please when you talk about someone don't say they are talented ! those people worked thier ass off practing and inventing ways to advance ! calling them simply "talented" is really unfair !!

No matter how strong we become , or how rich or famous we become , we all fall down and remember whats keeping us alive , why we wake up everyday , we do all what we do in the hope that one day we'll no longer worry about finding the one , because we are filled with the scent of a woman ! now ppl might defer with me saying there is more to life , but currently i couldn't care less , i finally found our reason to live , we all live to love ! we are most human when love , we are most pure when we are in love , we suffer when not loving , we feel pure pain when we get our hearts broken . I know that i've been down and the only thing that saved me was the sweet scent of a woman

10 of my simple pleasures

i was tagged by A-mok-72 on the 18th of may, to write down 10 of my simple pleasures , sorry a-mok for taking this long to replay , i haven't had the time to post anything lately .

1-Playing Guitar : live or at home , i like it more when i'm all alone , sitting near the window , when i can't sleep .

2-Video Games : i used to play RPGs alot , leveling up characters , Fighting games are great also , and i can't say no to a game of Starcraft

3-Sports : Basket ball is great , i like playing hard and pushing myself , i forget all my other problems while i'm playing , other sports are good

4-Books : Nothing is more relaxing than reading a good book before sleeping , alhtough a good book might keep you up an additional hour or 2 , or all night , but still i call it bed time reading :D

5-Friends : love being myself with them , not alot of ppl see the real side of me , and i always seem to have fun hanging with them , even if we are sitting on the sidewalk

6-Reading and talking about my major , although i don't give it much time these days i love it , each new subject gives you new ways of thinking , but still i hate studying for it :S

7- Stumble : A recomendation for every one get Mozilla firefox and get the stumble plug-in , its the greatest thing ever , you'll get addicted in no time

8-My job : at first i really hated it , but after a couple of months i loved it , got addicted , although it still has its ups and downs but still everything has its ups and downs

9-Music : it always changes my mood to the better , i like watching live shows ( and i don't consider techno as music to listen to )

10- Being Girdish :D

anyways i don't know who reads my blog these days , so i tag anyone who gets to this point ! cheers :D

The after party

The more i perform live the less i fear the audience until its totally gone now , but without the thrill , with out the fear there isn't much of joy , i hardly feel happy or excited about a concert or whats after it , it became something like a job , an hour that i need to do in order to feel achievment , and i measure my achievment but the strangest act humans do : clapping thier hands and roaring ! just like monkeys . its strange why when we see something that we like we start clapping our hands ! but whats even more strange is that we start measuring how good we were by that act !!

I feel that i'm at a threshold of a new beginning that i was trying so hard to avoid simply because i beleive beginnings are always hard , always stresful , and during them there isn't any guilt free time , everything you do is make that step easier , otherwise i'll consider it wasting time . But looks like that fate wants me to face this new thing , and i'm giving in !

bla bla bla bla

After living a dream ( even for a short period) , you realize that this wasn't really your dream , this wasn't what you wanted from your life ! Nothing is wasted in life , except time ! when you focus on not wasting time everything loses taste ! what is wasted time ? time not spent in improving yourself but instead having fun with friends ? or just sitting and relaxing getting your thoughts together ? or is it the time you spend building up your "career" so that when your 50 and most of your life is already done you are a ceo of a company ? its just not worth it ! life is not about leaving your mark , because when you leave this life you transform into a soul which supposed to have better needs ( or if you don't believe in afterlife its even worse ) , is life simply about having fun ? living it simple ? or is it about feeling achievement on your dead bed ? is life about worrying about regret in the final moment ?

my biggest fear ....

i'm the type who likes to know about stuff , even if its little knowledge , and after the small briefing i get ( usually from an expert in the field ) i chose if i want to get into it or not , at first i work alot on improving myself , then my life becomes this thing then i reach to a point where i can't get any further in it ! i don't drop the subject because i have too much pride to admit defeat so i just continue in this field and start with something else ! reach out to the point where i am "good " but not Great , at first it was okay i thought i was just finding my way and i'll find something in the end ! my current biggest fear is to never excel in anything ! and it has been giving me a few sleepless nights !

arabians don't use arabian numbers !

We all know that the numbers from 0-9 are called arabian numbers , and we don't use them ! i didn't give it much thought until a guy from germany visited our company and was surprised that we don't use them but instead we use other strange numbers ( the indian numbers ) , when i started thinking about it , indian people never invaded us or anything , and even though how come we stopped using arabian numbers and the whole world is using them now ?!!!
I'm talking history wise , how did it happen ?

so what is a dream ?

From what i heard , the brain records everything we see and hear , but we just have to put a priority tag to each thought so we can recall it , when we memorize things we put a higher priority tag to it so we can easily recall it , and thats ofcourse my monkeyish way of understanding stuff , so a dream are actully random ideas and images from the brain , so we can't dream about things we didn't see ! or atleast thats what i know at the moment ( that means i'm going to read more about dreams because of the following story !!!)

the other day i had a dream about a friend telling me a joke , and it was brand new ! the first time i ever heard this joke ! and i liked it so much that i woke up because i was laughing ! so if dreams are just thoughts from out brains ! then that means that i just told myself a joke that i didn't know !

ps : i know this story is kinda lame , but i didn't post from a while and to be honest i couldn't think of a solution for this small dilema i'm having !

humans , humans and more humans !

what could be worse than getting stuck in traffic ? getting stuck in Human traffic ! thats the first time something like that happens to me , it wasn't a line for a teller or anything , we were just going up the stairs and there was traffic ! ppl yelling on other ppl to move , ppl trying to cut in between , ppl coming from the second direction , and i was standing for about 10 mintues not moving ! there is just too much of humans ! we shoudn't ride cars if we cant even walk these days !

its not the kill ... its the thrill of the chase

i was just wondering about it today , what is the thing that keeps people going on in thier lifes ? if people knew from the start that thier goal can be reached , will they keep going for it ? is it really our dreams is what we really desire? or is it just the feeling that we are doing something , something hard , something different , something to brag about in the end . If a man was lost on an island and he knew that he is going to stay there for the rest of his life , and he won't meet anyone , and no one will even find his corpse , will he write a book ? will he try to play an instrument ?will he try to study physics? i don't think so . he'll promise himself that he won't waste any mintue from his life if he got saved , that he will cherish every moment bla bla bla , and when he gets saved he gets back to his normal life , going to his job, watching tv , eating and sleeping , and trying to find new dreams and goals.
so is there something called living your dream ? or just when we make one come true we look for another one , inorder not to lose the thrill that we get from living life !

water-diamond paradox

One of the reasons that makes me believe that humans are stupid , is simply money ! money is nothing but a paper , but our whole lifes are directed in the way of getting more money , to track money down to its history , it all started when human found gold and thought "oh this thing shines it must be worth something " so for some reason ppl started trading gold for things , and life went on this way , then humans thought its stupid to carry gold around so instead of not using gold anymore , they invented a job , a person who will hold your gold for you (for an intrest of course ) and give you a paper that states that you own a certain amount of gold , and from that money was born ! really , how stupid ! so now we all live just to get more money , more papers to prove that we have more gold (although thats not the system anymore) why ? what is gold ?why is it even that strong ? people use scopes to recognise if a gold is pure or not why ? if it looks pure and you need a scope to know if its not then isn't it gold enough?
now back to the title of my post , Adam smith stated in his book " wealth of nations " - not that i have read that book its 1200 pages long - that the more things are used in our daily life the less of value it has in exchange , an example is water and diamond .
one more reason to love monkeys , they don't have money or a meduim of exhange at all ! lucky them !

first post

Al gird means The gird , because i'm not a monkey i'm THE monkey , he3 he3 . although it might seem strange at first that i'm calling my self a monkey but there are reasons for that , my first reason is the monkey's life style (which i'll cover later on), the second is my girdish nature ! the monkey's way of life shows how stupid we human beings are ! sure monkeys didn't invent electricty or video games , and i'm sure that monkeys couldn't care less about who is the first who discovered gravity and made our life hell at school ( i hate physics ) but honestly , can't you see the greatness of thier lives ? I never heard about a monkey with a broken heart , or a monkey who is building his career , or a monkey who can't sleep at night because he is wondering if he had chose the right path in his life or not ! all the monkeys are the same , and that which gave them the peace of mind , and the need to be special and different is what gave the human race trouble.