I don't love you , I pity you

I feel ..

wake up , you've been sleeping for so long , it is okay to make mistakes but it is foolish not to learn from them , is that what you needed to wake up ? the least person you expected to wake you up to warm you about your old intentions ? Idiot ! idiot !

it does not matter now , it could be too late , it could be too soon , it does not matter , you heard the call , answer it , it is time to finally know , and time to finally understand , your fear of regret is what is causing all this . It is time , face it , face it now or never , remain hidden in your shell , a shell that will soon be broken and you'll be laying naked in front of yourself . It is time .

Why not ?

Its not that the timing is no longer right ,,
Its not that i am almost forgotten , slowly becoming a pleasant memory ,,
Its not the fear of pain , the fear of rejection , and difenatly its not about taking risks ,,

What would you do if you asked God for something , and when He gave it to you , you threw it back at His face ?
What would you do if you betrayed yourself , ruined your destiny ? traded whats right for whats wrong ?

I can not blame Him for what He is doing , but i hope that there is a lesson to be taught , not a punishment that needs to be executed ,,,

For now my friend , i can not face Her , i have to able to look in the mirror before i'll be able to look into Her eyes , i can't stand her disappointment , i can't stand her glowing eyes ,,

My dear old friend , i just remembered why we are different , and why am i no longer that different , we used to have souls , we used to have hearts , we used to have passion ,,,,

I am sorry , but i promise you i will try ,,

maybe then ..