Friday, November 20, 2009

Thinking

* I am what i am today because of what i decided to be yesterday , i am sure i had good reasons on that day .

* One of the things i have to learn is to accept my redundancy , i should get satisfaction from the minimal effect i have on the small sample that surrounds me , i should learn to accept that i do not matter .

* I have been waiting for at least 8 years , i am not denying that life gave me breaks , but i never found what i am looking for , maybe because i started looking before even knowing what that is , i can say that i tried almost everything , i have only two things left to try , if they did not work i will most probably tell god that i quit .

* I almost pin pointed the time that i want to go back in time to , the date , the time , the hour , not sure about the minute , but am close enough to that , for the first time in my life i am regretful , and for some reason i left a record on that day , maybe to teach myself a lesson , or maybe because of my nature of ruining anything that is beautiful .

* I like this new feeling of nothingness , i am trying to maintain it more , to be able to control it , emotions in general are useless and misleading , getting rid of them will make us more logical therefore we will be able to achieve more and get rid of deficiencies , such as half of the human race .

* Capitalism will not collapse , will not fall , the world is different than what it used to be back at the days of the soviet union , the economies of the world are integrated more then ever , so integrated that competitors depend on each other , and the collapse of the west will mean the collapse of the east , that is why they will not allow it , that is why the big are shaking hands while the small and vile are fucking each other .

* Humans in general are disgusting and useless , why does God love such creatures ? i can see that we are entertaining , but in the same time we are more frustrating.


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